After you and your partner have been together for a while, you may find your sex life isn’t quite as amazing as it used to be. It’s normal for the spontaneity to decrease in a relationship. But if the initial “Anywhere Anyhow Anytime” turns into “Bedroom-Only, This Way, Friday” then that’s not great is it?
So how do you spice up a relationship in these circumstances, or avoid it even getting to this stage in the first place?
Well, to spice things up again and inject some excitement, there are two hurdles you’ll need to jump –
- 1. stop being so goddam busy for sex and stop using adultfrienedfinder app login, and
- 2. start trying to understand what really makes you and your partner tick in the bedroom.
Stop the Busyness : Start the Sexiness
Time never used to be an issue did it? Remember those quickies before you had to go somewhere? But after that initial novelty period is over, other priorities get in the way of finding time for sex. And you get so frazzled about all of life’s stresses (work, finances, family, etc) that sex is the last thing in your mind.
This one is easy to fix though – sex needs to move up a few notches on your priority list:
- Quit volunteering for more stuff – you’re busy as it is
- Quit spending money on dumb things – finance worries kill friskiness!
- Agree to a date night once per week, no excuses – your relationship is important
- Start exercising – you get feel-good endorphins and the fitness will make you a God(dess) in the bedroom!
Spice up your sex life through talking? Sounds dull…
Well, the thing is, as your relationship matures, it starts to become clearer to you both what you want and need from the physical side of the relationship. You need to talk about this with your partner though – they aren’t psychic. Topics on your chat-list:
- What physical things can your partner do to help you feel in the mood? E.g. dressing a certain way, massage, caressing, making you relaxed.
- Do you wish your partner would initiate things more or less?
- Would either of you like to be more experimental? If so, what kind of things?
- What about instructions – would either of you like more or less during sex?
- Finally, what do you both actually want from sex and what can you do to deliver?
Now, some people just don’t feel comfortable talking about sex, even with their partner of several years. If this is you, you are setting yourself up to miss out on a TON of orgasms by being this way. I trust that makes your decision easier now! Just be open with each other.