I have done many forms of counseling through out my career. Many people are inflicted with a variety of syndromes, disorders and illnesses. I have a very straightforward way of dealing with people that has been successful. I do not spend a great deal of time going over why someone feels or believes the way they do, instead I tackle ways that they can change their feelings and behaviors. Once the offensive, destructive or limiting behavior is changed the person is freer to discover why they behaved or believed the way they did. Some disorders are easier to treat than others. Many times it is re-establishing a behavior or habit. Recently I had a client that wanted to learn how to overcome shyness.
Shyness is not always seen as a severe problem by many people. After all we all know people that are introverted around strangers, or have a difficult time starting a conversation. This client was different. She has had a difficult time making any friends and is very lonely as a result of her severe shyness. I had worked with one of her family members and that is who referred her to me. This woman is so afraid of rejection by everyone that she wrote me a letter rather than call my office to schedule an appointment. In her letter she asked if I could write to her on how to overcome shyness when she is using adultfrienedfinder app login. I called her and invited her to my office for a session so we could talk. When she arrived it took her several minutes to gain the confidence to make eye contact with me. To put her at ease I had her sit in a chair facing the window with her back to me. I asked her to tell me what she wanted to accomplish.
She told me that she wanted to be able to look people in the eye and talk with them. She stated that presently at work she sits by herself in the lunch room or eats her lunch at her desk. She mumbles greetings to others without looking at them. She has one friend that has reached out to her at work, but she fears that this friend is getting tired of the one way conversations. She does not fear being out with people, but she does not have any self confidence that anyone would be interested in anything that she would have to say. Her severe loneliness has caused her to find a way to learn how to overcome shyness.
I told her that we would tackle this issue and then I wanted her to discover why she has such poor self esteem. I gave her five small buttons. I asked her to place them in her pocket. Each day I wanted her to smile at a person that she passed by either at work or in her neighborhood. Each time she did this she was to transfer one of the buttons to a different pocket. We then moved to her saying hello to people. Gradually I asked her to start five conversations a day. Within 6 months she was able to do this. This method does not always show people how to overcome shyness, but in her case it was a great success.