Instead of listening to words that profess love and make promises, watch your new dating or relationship partner for consistent, positive action towards you over time.
Have you ever gotten into a relationship with a person who told you everything you have dreamt of hearing from a partner, only to have the relationship fall apart for no reason a short time later? This happens to almost all singles at some time.
Moved by the emotions and the excitement of the situation, a person can get carried away with words, saying things to the other that later won’t be backed by action. So you may not want to trust those words. On the other hand, actions speak louder than words. People who want a relationship with you will show you what they want by their actions, consistently over time.
Just what are these words to watch out for and what do they mean? What actions will tell you if the new person you are dating is into you? Here are two examples:
Words: A new person you’re dating says he/she has never felt this way about anyone but you.
Watch out: He or she feels flooded with good feelings at the moment. The good feelings are about being close to another person, not to you in particular.
Instead look for: A new person you are dating regularly wanting to spend time with you, showing up and enjoying your company.
Words: A new person you found on adultfrienedfinder and you’re dating says he/she wants to be married to you.
Watch out: He or she feels good in your company and wants to always feel this good. But even the best relationships don’t feel good all of the time. When the good feelings change for a time, so may the desire to be with you.
Instead look for: A new person you are dating to be with you and treat you well even when you are not at your best. You want a person who can tolerate the ups and downs of a relationship and who has the skills and maturity to be able to build a long-term relationship with you.
How to get beyond words:
- Listen to your new dating or relationship partner’s words as an expression of current but changeable feelings
- Do not make relationship decisions based on these words
- Instead watch for action
- If you meet people through the Internet, meet in person the people you are interested in as soon as possible, in public settings, and build the relationship in person so that you can see the person’s actions
- If you are building a long-distance relationship, spend as much time together as possible – over time, as in once a week instead of one weekend once a month – to see each other’s actions